My Top 25 Scary Movie Moments: 10 - 1

It's that special day of the year again...

The day that hipsters dress as an abusive Batman villain, women aim to make cats sexy and I ignore my doorbell at all costs.

Instead, I close the curtains, break out the Blu-Rays and try and scare myself silly.  And these are the best way to make my spine tingle, my blood freeze and my goose bump.

10) Pontypool – Ken Reports In

Set-Up: Grant Massey is a radio DJ in the cold town of Pontypool, Canada.  Over the course of his early-morning radio show, Grant starts receiving reports of violence beginning to erupt in the town from their 'Roaming Reporter' Ken Loanee.  But Ken gets in a bit of trouble...

(Watch 29:30-36:00)

Why I Was Freaked:  If there's one thing that scares me more than what you see, it's what you don't see.  The entire genius behind Pontypool is that the whole film takes place within this radio station, and the terror is simply reported from the outside until it's too late.  Reports of people eating each other and tearing themselves apart are much more intense when you use your own imagination.

It brings a whole new terror to the idea of these ordinary people who can't come to terms with the reports they are hearing.  How long would you deny the idea of zombies before too much information overwhelms you and breaks you down to believe such an impossibility?

Stephen McHattie is brilliant as the gruff and brash Massey, and his terrified performance simply mirrors our own bewilderment and incredulity at what we're hearing coming from the relative safety of Ken's grain silo.

Too relatable.  Fuck you, McHattie.

9) Ghostbusters – Who Brought The Dog?

Set-Up: Lovable nerd Louis Tully is hosting a dinner party to woo his neighbour Dana.  Little does he know that there is something waiting in his bedroom...

Why I Was Freaked: God if Childhood Mike didn't have a fear of dogs before he watched Ghostbusters, he most certainly would have done afterwards.

Yeah, the effects may have gotten worse over time, with the stop-motion becoming a bit ropey but damn, those roaring sound effects, the red eyes, sharp teeth, breaking down the door and just looking like a real-life monster.  

It only gets worse later on in the film, with the Hell Hounds chasing down Louis and Dana through restaurants and all the way back to the finale.  This is a comedy, by the way.

Ridiculous.  Fuck you, Hell Hound.

8) James and the Giant Peach – The Rhino

Set-Up: James is orphaned when both of his parents are killed by a rampaging rhino escapes from the local zoo.  He goes to live with his horrible Aunties and escapes on a giant peach.  But whilst in the clouds, he meets a familiar face...

Why I Was Freaked: How fucked up is that rhino?  

Seriously, it's Monstro in the sky with electric powers!  

I HATED this rhino.  He's a parent killer, with terrifying glowing eyes, teeth no rhino should ever have and, yeah, lightning emanating from his giant protruding horn.

Child Mike became incredibly fearful of rhinos, and was wary for around a fortnight, thinking that there were rhinos around every corner of north-west England.

Irrational.  Fuck you, Rhino.  (P.S. I'm not afraid of you anymore, either)

7) Se7en – Sloth

Set-Up: Someone is killing people based on the Seven Deadly Sins.  Two victims have been found, 'Gluttony' and 'Greed'.  But Detectives Mills and Somerset have received a clue and are following up on where they think the killer lives...

Why I Was Freaked: Jesus, I never expected Victor to be alive.  The torture and life that Victor has survived and lived through is probably even more scary than the jump-scare itself.

The scene is so incredibly built up by director David Fincher and the killer is revealed to be willing to go to such incredible lengths to enact his plans, the payoff is chilling.

And Victor waited until Dr Cox was as close as possible before breathing his breath.  Dick move.

Unexpected.  Fuck you, Victor.

6) Watership Down – The Warren's Destruction

Set-Up: When trying to escape the destruction of their home, eight rabbits stumble upon Captain Holly.  Holly recounts what happened to her previous warren...

Why I Was Freaked: Isn't this just lovely?  

So you have elements of being buried alive, drowning, claustrophobia, lacerations, impalement and even some holocaust imagery and referencing Hell.

This is a U-rated film.

Fuck you Watership Down.  You made my sister afraid of rabbits. 

5) The Wicker Man – The First Glance

Set-Up: Sgt Howie has been brought to an isolated island to search for a missing girl, Rowan.  Upon being fooled by the rest of the island, the Sergeant is brought to meet the most popular man on Summerisle...

Why I Was Freaked:  I know it's only a short clip, but that one line gave me so many chills. It's the lack of spectacle or grandeur to this that makes it so chilling.  No music.  Just silence and a single drum beat.  And a lot of people wanting this one innocent man to die.

But after the build up and the bait and switch that the whole audience experiences, we are there with Howie.  We don't know what to expect, but we don't think that this entire island will be willing to commit such a heinous act.

Chilling.  Fuck you, Summerisle.

4) The Birds – Waiting Outside The School

Set-Up: Birds have been randomly attacking the residents of Bodega Bay. But the visiting Melanie Daniels has a few questions to ask of local school-teacher Annie Hayworth.  Melanie waits patiently outside the school for the lesson to finish...

Why I Was Freaked: So.  Many.  Birds.

Hitchcock is truly a master of suspense and this scene really epitomises that opinion.  He always wanted the audience to know more about the situation than the characters, therefore creating the ultimate tense situation.  You just want to scream at Melanie to turn around and get inside, before it's too late.

The unpredictability of the birds is what makes The Birds such a great film to experience.  The attacks truly can come anytime and anywhere, and these crows appear truly menacing and binding their time.

Haven't looked at birds the same since.

Tense.  Fuck you, birds.

3) Signs – The Birthday Party

Set-Up: There have been reports of UFOs appearing all around the Earth, but no encounters with the aliens themselves.  Merrill Hess is hiding in the closet, before a news report appears on the TV...

Why I Was Freaked: I'm not sure what made this so scary for me; either the fact that I'm really not good with aliens, and there goes one just sauntering casually across the TV screen, or the cinema auditorium I was sat in was suddenly filled with high pitched screams all around me.

Regardless, the fact that I'm not a big fan of aliens just made this all the worse.  This was back when Shyamalan was good at his job.  He was fresh off of The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, and his take on an alien invasion of Earth was done in a very personal and muted way.  So much so that when shit gets real, I really lost my shit.

Earth-shattering.  Fuck you, Shyamalan.

2) The Fourth Kind – Jaw on the Floor

Set-Up: Taking place over several days in Alaska, Dr Abbey Tyler tries hypnosis to contact the extraterrestrial threats that she thinks have taken her daughter.  Milla Jovovich portrays Dr Tyler, whilst also featuring the home video footage and audio...

Why I Was Freaked: So when I first watched The Fourth Kind, it was presented as a film with Hollywood actors portraying real life people, with the accompanying real footage there for verification.  This made this scene incredibly horrifying for me, as again, I'm not good with aliens.

However with audible testimony of an unknown voice announcing itself as God.  I was shitting myself.

It's not real though.  Of course it's not.  It's all fake.  But you couldn't have told me that at the time.  All I knew was fear.  They Fargo'd me.

Jaw-dropping.  Fuck you, Jovovich.

1) Jurassic Park – Raptors In The Kitchen

Set-Up: Dinosaurs are back.  And they're roaming around an amusement park, stalking the visitors.  Some especially deadly dinos, velociraptors, chase a couple of kids into a kitchen...

Why I Was Freaked: OK, so here it is.  The scene I couldn't watch until I was 14 years old.

I was not ready for this as a 6 year old lad, sitting down with my family and ending up with my face buried into a pillow, and not seeing how the kids escaped until I was a freaking teenager!

So much tension, the bait-and-switch, the unknown and sinister enemy that cannot be reasoned with or over-powered.  And I was the same age or even younger than Tim when I watched this, so I instantly put myself into their shoes, and never trusted a kitchen that large again.

It was and still is one of my favourite films of all time, so for my fear to stop me watching it for so long ... well I believe you can see why this scene is at the top of my list.  Never has one scene made so much of an impact on me.

Fuck you Spielberg.  And thank you at the same time.  It's a complicated feeling.

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And that's it for my Halloween countdown.  Thank you for reading it and hope you have a spooky Halloween!

Have you got any moments that stand out in your mind?  Anything that scarred you and I didn't list?
Let me know in the comments below and don't forget to share this article if you like it!

Until next time folks, thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed what you read, 

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My Top 25 Scary Movie Moments: 20 - 11

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

So, the original plan was to release these lists in batches of five, all leading up to Halloween and the grand finale!

However, I moved flats! (HOORAY!) 

But unfortunately I now have no Internet (BOO!)

And I'm currently writing this using Coffee Shop Wi-Fi! (Oh?)

But enough about my reasons, let's get on with what freaked me out when I was a wee one.

20) Dumbo – Pink Elephants

Set-Up: The titular elephant gets a bit too tipsy... and starts seeing Demon Pachyderms...

Why I Was Freaked:  Imagine something like this being in a Pixar film, or on early morning CBBC. OFCOM would be losing their shit!  

Everything had been going pretty normally until this sequence.  Not happy, by any means, since Dumbo is still as fun for a child as burying their pet fish (RIP Stuart The Fish), but nothing psychedelic had occurred so far.  

And then a warbling brass section start tormenting my dreams, with elephants suggestively dancing with lightning bolts and ultimately these black-eyed monsters teach me not to dare try alcohol for a good few decades.

Way too trippy.  Fuck you, Walt.

19) Session 9 – "Hello... Gordon"

Set-Up: Four asbestos removers begin working in an abandoned insane asylum.  But not everything left when the building shut down...

Why I Was Freaked: There is not a single moment in Session 9 that I left at ease.  From the very beginning of the film, it intends on creeping you out and making you feel threatened, and this scene just sums that up perfectly.

As the removal men work longer and longer hours within the abandoned asylum, they discover that Gordon is hiding some dark secrets, such as the creepy voice calling out to him.

I'd highly recommend seeking out Session 9, it's a film that will freak you out even without you knowing it.  There's just something off about that wheelchair, perfectly positioned in the middle of the hallway.  The image is certainly an iconic one, so much so it even influenced the creators of Silent Hill to include an homage in Silent Hill 3.

Creepy.  Fuck you, Gordon.

18) Pan's Labyrinth – The Pale Man

Set-Up: Ofelia is on her second of three tasks to return her to her Fairy Homeworld.  She has to venture into an unknown world and retrieve a special weapon, but there are a few simple rules, otherwise there will be trouble...

Why I Was Freaked: How fucked up is Guillermo Del Toro's mind?  Seriously.  The guy comes up with the most disturbing and grotesque creations.  Hellboy, Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark, Pan's Labyrinth; they're all filled with horrible monsters that he calls 'Friends' but I call, "Sweet Jesus, what is that thing?!"

Doug Jones, the ultimate contortionist, dons another suit for del Toro to terrify and mesmerise with dancer-like precision.  Couldn't Ofelia have just resisted that grape?  She would have saved herself so much hassle and scary-ass chases.

Grotesque.  Fuck you, del Toro.  (Not really, you're actually awesome)

17) Paranormal Activity 3 – Bedsheet Ghosts

Set-Up: a babysitter is minding two young girls, not knowing one of them has a ghostly friend, Toby.  Toby just wants to play...

Why I Was Freaked: By Paranormal Activity 3, I thought that they had done the formula to death and didn't expect any decent genuine scares from it, but I actually believe that it is one of the strongest chapters in a series that is steadily getting worse.

However, instead of relying on jump-scares (ignoring the babysitter one, dick move), the directors instead tease the audience with suspense and intrigue, and I for one had to watch through my fingers as I didn't know how they were going to further use these classic horror tropes.

Admittedly it gets worse and less original from there, but for a time, I thought that we'd have something fresh on our hands.

Tense.  Fuck you, Toby.

16) Zodiac – The Basement

Set-Up: Robert Graysmith is investigating the elusive Zodiac Killer.  His latest clues are that 'Zodiac' has a basement, and may have hand-written a movie poster.  Not much to go off, but he visits an ex-cinema employee who may have some information about the poster ...

Why I Was Freaked: I don't think that guy could have been more creepier if he tried.  Poor Jake.

The weird thing with this scene is that it comes virtually out of nowhere.  Nothing else in Zodiac is this tense or terrifying outside of the recreated Zodiac murder scenes.  It's just so unexpected that it is truly a jolt to the system.

Gyllenhaal's doing that thing with his eyes again.  Whether it is Prisoners, Nightcrawler or even Donnie Darko, Jake uses his big ol' blues to the express his terror, anxiety and fear.  (I bet you've not even got a Top Ten Eye Actors, have you? *scoff*)

Fuck you Fincher, and your incredible ability to keep surprising me.

15) An American Werewolf In London – When Mutant Nazis Attack

Set-Up: David has been attacked by a wolf on the Yorkshire Moors.  After recovering in hospital, he finds himself back in America, ready to study...

Why I Was Freaked:  Ah the old 'Dream Within A Dream' trick.  That's how it's done right, Batman vs Superman! 

Again, it's intense horror and violence out of nowhere that messed up my childhood mind!  Oh and Mutant Nazi Monsters gunning down children and kicking Kermit The Frog in the face!  I mean, he did nothing wrong, and still got it in the face.

But then it's the double-whammy of "It Was All A Dream, only for the Mutant Nazi Monsters to strike again!  I can't take any more Gun-Toting Mutant Nazi Monsters, but thankfully I have yet to encounter them in films since.  But still...

Dick move Landis.  Fuck you.

14) An American Tail – The Giant Mouse of Minsk

Set-Up: After suffering terrible attacks from the cats of America, Russian and Irish mice team up and create a wooden mouse, full of fireworks to scare off the cats for good...

Why I Was Freaked: Good Lord, Don Bluth was responsible for a lot of my scariest film moments when I was a kid, but this really takes the cake.

Just look at it's soulless eyes, it's slow and deliberate movement, the terrifying roar and grotesque head.  This is a creation of the heroes, to scare off the villains; I associated with the villains by the end of it.  

This idea is repeated in A Bug's Life, creating a bird to scare off grasshoppers, but I wasn't traumatised after that; I was entertained.  Not here.  Not with Franken-Mouse.

Ungodly.  Fuck you, Bluth.

13) The Blair Witch Project – The House

Set-Up: Heather and Mike have lost their friend Josh in the woods.  Woods that are supposedly haunted by a local legend, The Blair Witch.  After being tormented by an unseen force for several nights, they discover a house...

Why I Was Freaked: I'm worried that out of context, this ending might seem ill-placed so far up the list. 

However after you've been with Mike and Heather up until this moment, and you know that this has to be the end for them, it's unbearable not knowing what they're going to see.

The original Blair Witch Project was an incredibly subtle film that allowed you to project your imagination onto the screen and imagine what they were running from, and easily changed the horror genre from that point on, but that image of Mike standing in the corner of the room, for no reason and not getting any explanation was terrifying to me.  

Terrifying and annoying.  But mostly terrifying.  Fuck you, Mike.

12) Jacob's Ladder – Welcome To The Hospital

Set-Up: Jacob is a war veteran who wakes up on a stretcher, being wheeled through possibly the worst hospital in the world...

(Warning for those uncomfortable by needles...)

Why I Was Freaked: I'm pretty sure this was the closest thing to depicting a living hell when I was younger.  Possibly still one of my worst nightmares; being trapped in such a hellish place and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

The visuals in this scene alone are worthy of being in anyone's scary moments list, as these really were inspirational, again giving the Silent Hill creative team ideas for their monsters and storylines.

Also, I'm fine with never seeing a needle going into a forehead ever again, thanks.

Scarring.  Fuck you, Jacob.  And your ladder.

11) Pinocchio – Monstro

Set-Up: The little wooden boy has tried to find his father, but ended up being swallowed by the biggest and meanest bastard this side of Bruce the Shark...

Why I Was Freaked: OK, just how scary and intimidating were Disney films back then?  They didn't give a crap about terrifying their audience!  Not to mention that earlier in the film, Pinocchio had visited Pleasure Island and witness young boys physically transform into braying donkeys.  That could have had it's own entry on this list alone.

But no, I've decided to list the crazily-horrible gigantic man-eating monster that comes fully equipped with an incredibly loud orchestra, ready to accompany any movement he makes with high-pitched wails and uncomfortable screeching.  Not to mention how he gets even worse when he's spewing toxic black smoke from his gargantuan mouth.

Sorry I'll stop now, but Jesus, this fish terrified me.

Fuck you Walt, and your ridiculously low threshold for terror.

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And that's part two of my Halloween countdown!

Keep your eyes peeled for the Top Ten coming tomorrow! 

Have you got any moments that stand out in your mind?  Let me know in the comments below and don't forget to share this article if you like it!

Until next time folks, thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed what you read, 

'Like' me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Dunn-Reviews 

or 'Follow' me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/MikeDunnReviews

My Top 25 Scary Movie Moments: 25 - 21

Bloody hell, 2016 is moving by pretty sharpish isn't it?  It only felt like yesterday that we were ringing in the New Year and saying goodbye to David Bowie and Alan Rickman *sniff*

Now it's October and God knows who we're going to be saying goodbye this month!  Not to sound morbid, but it is Hallowe'en Month after all!  So let's get loads of chocolate, sweets and scary movies to give us thrills to remember all the way to Christmas!

Speaking of which, I thought it would be fun/traumatising to relive some of the scariest moments that I've experienced whilst watching films throughout the years.  You might scoff at some of these moments being included in my list, but these honestly did scare the bejesus out of me when I was a youngster (and some more recently...)

However, let's just get it out of the way early: I wasn't scared to go into the ocean by Jaws, I wasn't convinced to say thirteen Hail Mary's after watching The Exorcist and I found The Shining boring and overrated (until recently), so that is why they will not be featuring on this list...

25) Silent Hill – The Nurses

Set-Up: Rose (Radha Mitchell) is searching for her lost daughter in a demon-possessed town of Silent Hill.  When arriving at the final location, a hospital, Rose travels into the depths, not knowing what is waiting for her...

Why I Was Freaked:  It's usually jump-scares or pure shock that grabs your attention during a horror film these days.  However I cannot stand quiet tension.  The 'hold-your-breath' kind of tension.  It kills me.  So when Rose decides to slowly slink through these godawful grotesques, making painful and orgasmic sounds, I didn't know what to do with myself (not like that...)

Whilst the nurses' appearance is lifted straight from the Silent Hill 2 video game, this was still the first time this iconic video game enemy had appeared on the big screen thanks to the fan service from director Christophe Gans.  With that knowledge, I was screaming at the screen, "Run, bitch, ruuuuunnnn!" whilst the chaos erupted around her.  I still can't breathe during this scene.  

Way too tense.  Fuck you, Gans.

24) Day of the Dead – The Calendar

Set-Up: Taking place after Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, zombies have quite easily taken over the world and the remaining humans now live mainly underground trying to figure out a cure to the zombie virus. Dr. Sarah Bowman wakes up in an underground facility with a calendar on the wall... But something is wrong...

Why I Was Freaked: Well, didn't it freak you out?   One of the earliest jump-scares that I can remember really catching me off guard, as this is pretty much the start of the film. There I was, late at night, surrounded by darkness and a few calendars of my own.  I didn't know what to expect.  Bang! Straight in there with the shivers.  

Terrifying.  Fuck you, Romero.

23) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – The Riverboat

Set-Up: Charlie Bucket has won a chance to visit a famous chocolatier's factory. Half-way through their tour, they come to a nice gentle riverboat and start to ride. But things start getting a bit psychedelic...

Why I Was Freaked: How would this not freak out a little 8 year old like me?  This incredibly friendly, charming and kooky character presents a room full of edible plants and assortments, sings cheery melodies, and then ferries you through a tunnel of nightmares and death! I could never trust a person again! Or see a chicken without thinking that I was going to be shown it's head being taken off! 

Strangely my fragile little brain didn't mind seeing Augustus Gloop get sucked into a pipe, or the obvious forced labour of the Oompa-Loompas, but the ferry ride from Hell accompanied by Gene Wilder's eerie singing? No thank-you, I'd like to get off.

Craziness.  Fuck you, Wilder.  (And rest in peace.)

22) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – The Nazgul Reach Bree

Set-Up: In order to travel a deadly weapon back to where it was created, a quartet of Hobbits take refuge in a town called Bree. However hooded black creatures seeking that same weapon for their master arrive there too... with intent on fucking some shit up.

Why I Was Freaked: If there is one thing that Peter Jackson can do well, it's horror. His eye for an otherworldly terror is fantastic, and even though the world he had created so far was particularly grounded, the introduction of the Nazgul / Ringwraiths was the first moments of anything supernatural or demonic interrupting this pleasant countryside world.

With the Nazgul floating into the Prancing Pony surrounded by dramatic fog, standing over our heroes and stabbing the living fuck out of them, all whilst being intensely quiet and meticulous just made the tension even worse. Oh and when you find out that your heroes are fine, and you should be feeling relief? Don't worry, we'll just throw in some ear-piercing shrieks to scare you some more. 

Horrifying.  Fuck you, Jackson.

21) House on Haunted Hill – The Doctor

Set-Up: Geoffrey Rush has called a lot of people to his mansion to intentionally scare them with scary pranks. But unbeknownst to him, there are ghosts in his mansion ready to fuck shit up and kill in various horrifying ways.

Why I Was Freaked: OK, admittedly it might not hold up to other scary scenes on this list, but personally this was the first time I had seen the technique of speeding up someone shaking their head so it appears like they're doing it really really really really fast, and it freaked me out! 

Also combine that with the security guard's face being HOLLOWED OUT!  A fact that Geoffrey Rush seems almost bored by as well, instead paying attention to a creepy doctor making plans on his wife. 

Fuck you Rush, and your ridiculous nonchalance.

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And that's the first part of my October countdown.  Keep your eyes peeled for the rest of this list over the coming few weeks all leading to Hallowe'en!

Have you got any moments that stand out in your mind?  Let me know in the comments below and don't forget to share this article if you like it!

Until next time folks, thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed what you read, 

'Like' me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Dunn-Reviews 

or 'Follow' me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/MikeDunnReviews

My Top Five Film Intros

"Do not start with a whimper, but with a bang."  

Not only a suggestion to any future girlfriends of mine, but also powerful advice to any filmmaker who wants to make a memorable impression on their audience.

It is thought that you make your first impression of a person within the first 30 seconds of meeting them.  A firm handshake, a welcoming smile, or if they just flat out ignore you, you know what you're dealing with for the rest of the conversation.

The same can be said for films; a film usually tells you what experience to expect by it's opening sequence or credits, summing up the audience's expectations and also giving them a preview of the 89 minutes still to come.

An action film causes intrigue and should to be bombastic, loud and attention-grabbing!  A drama delivers with purpose, sometimes being better when slow, methodical and exact.  A comedy could involve some prat falls and custard pies, as long as it makes you laugh!

To show you what I feel are fantastic examples of intro sequences, I've thrown together a quick list, along with handy YouTube windows to show you...

THE LIFE OF PI

Ignoring the 20th Century Fox logo, just how beautiful and full of nature is that opening sequence? 

The Life of Pi tells the story of one boy trapped on a boat lost at sea with a man-eating tiger.  
Whilst that could have be depicted as a straight-out thriller, director Ang Lee decided to focus on Pi's relationship with nature as well as his own spiritual discovery through his ordeal.  

So what better way of introducing the audience to these ideas then by showcasing the broad range of exotic and unique animals found in Pi's family zoo?  

Backed by incredibly calming music by Mychael Danna, the tour around the other-worldly mixture of animals definitely has a spiritual edge to it and the soundtrack is a must for those who love a good chill-out.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011)

Could there be a more contrasting opening title sequence to The Life Of Pi?

The first of two David Fincher films in this short list, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo had a lot to live up to.  It was trying to recreate the 'lightning in a bottle' experience that was the Millennium Trilogy of Swedish films starring Noomi Rapace as the titular Girl.  In order to get peoples' attention, Fincher had to return to his music-video roots.

Powered by the punchy cover of 'The Immigrant Song' by Nine Inch Nails' front-man Trent Reznor, the two and a half minutes are filled with fast-paced drums, edgy scrapings of electronica and haunting vocals of Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) that would wake up even the heaviest of sleepers in that audience.

The whole intro depicts acts of violence and scenes of unease, all whilst being dripped in murky and pristine oil, previewing the dark and abusive world that the audience are about to be shown. Truly mesmerising and to some extent, the most memorable part of an otherwise forgettable film.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

The definition of kicking the film off with a bang and attempting to merge the realms of video games, graphic novels and films into one seamless intro.

I remember seeing this in the cinema, already having high expectations, and then as soon as the camera pulled away from Sex Bob-Omb as they began their opening track, and the lounge kept on going...  And going...  And going...  I knew this was going to be a fun and surreal ride from start to finish.

The animated lighting bolts emerging off how awesome the band were, whilst Beck's music rang out was perfect for reminding me of comic book illustrations, plus the previous minute being filled with nerd-heavy dialogue just gave me such joy to behold.

On repeated viewings, the credit sequence also holds hidden references to the characters the actors portray, such as the background changing from pink to blue to green behind Mary Elizabeth Winstead's name, representing Ramona's hair changing colour throughout the film or the coffee ring stains behind Anna Kendrick;s name, as her character works in a Starbucks-style coffee-house.  Little hints like that make the difference and show care and attention in the smallest of areas.

SE7EN

It's that man Fincher, and his trusty Trent Reznor back again.  

For Se7en, director David Fincher thought it would be interesting to follow introducing the audience to the hero, played by Morgan Freeman, to introduce them to the villain, without them knowing it and show the meticulous process he follows to fulfil his master plan.

The result is a completely sinister and dark opening sequence that brings you down to the murky and sordid level of a serial killer, even with the choice of font for the actors' names.  Painstakingly crafted to make you feel as uneasy as possible, the ungodly sounds that surround the actions on screen make chills run up my spine every time I hear it. 

Again, this is a great scene to watch back once you have seen the film.  It takes on a different meaning once you understand the killer's motives and his obsession with the seven deadly sins.

MEMENTO

It's no secret that I consider Memento to be one of my favourite films of all time, so it's no surprise that it's opening credit sequence is on my list.

However I cannot emphasise enough how poignant and touching this introduction is.  Showing a Polaroid picture of a murder scene slowly fade away from existence all to a beautifully haunting score by David Julyan, only to reveal that the scene is being shown in reverse is the perfect way of preparing the audience for the film they are about to experience; nothing is as it seems and don't trust your first opinion.

This introduction is pivotal in the story-telling of the film, and the finale really has extra meaning and shock since this scene is what is used to start the dominoes falling and your entire opinion of these two characters is framed by what happens in this scene.

If you give Memento a go, I truly believe you will agree with me that this is definitely an opening scene you won't forget.

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Did I forget something?  Do you have an opening sequence that you think tops these?  Let me know in the comments below, as I am always looking for new favourites.

Until next time folks, thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed what you read, 

'Like' me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Dunn-Reviews 

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Succinct Sunday: February/March Films

So things got away from me a little bit last month.  Personal life got in the way of spending time doing what I love most; informing complete strangers from around the world what I thought about million-dollar budget, Hollywood blockbusters.

I can already feel your sympathy and pity; it is appreciated.

However now I find myself in March with only three films actually reviewed this year, which cannot stand.  And so to combat this ridiculous situation, I have put together ten reviews of films I have seen in the past two months and have not had the time to write a full review.

I have also organised them from worst to best.  This is so I don't finish writing this article in a bad mood, because, boy, just reminding myself about this film is already making me type harder and with more force.  My keyboard can't take it...

10. Dirty Grandpa

Plot

After his grandmother dies, a straight-laced lawyer (Zac Efron) promises to take his grandpa, (Robert freaking de Niro) to Florida for a fishing trip.  But when they arrive, Zac realises that his grandpa wants him to cut loose and forget his fiancee for one last weekend of debauchery.  With his grandpa.  Yuck.

Verdict

F##k.  This.  Film.

I'm tempted just to leave it at that, but I'll persevere.  I've never seen such a sabotage of one's own career than Robert de Niro.  This man was the greatest actor on the planet for two decades.  Now I have seen him rubbing up against a twerking Aubrey Plaza and vigorously masturbating like his life depended on it.  No person needs to see that.  Ever.

It's as if de Niro knocked his head on a something heavy, lost his memory and someone told him "Robert!  You are an actor!  But your career is in tatters!  You need to just do whatever film you can!"

The film is ridiculously bad.  I didn't laugh once and neither did the rest of the audience in the screen.  There was an air of hushed silence, as if collectively mourning the loss of a fallen friend.  And that's what we were doing; showing respect to the man who starred in Goodfellas, Casino, The freaking Godfather!

My hands are shaking with anger, I need to talk about something else...

Rating

1/10 (if I could give this a 0/10, I would) 


9. Grimsby

Plot

Nobby Butcher (Sacha Baron Cohen) hasn't seen his little brother, (Mark Strong), for almost thirty years.  They grew up in Grimsby before he left to become a very successful secret agent for the Government.  However when Nobby finds him and accidentally puts his brother's life in danger, they must go on the run together to try and save the world.

Verdict

Whilst Dirty Grandpa was a surprise of how far de Niro has fallen, it's truly no surprise that SBC is still producing immature, toilet humour such as Grimsby.  What Mark Strong is doing in this though is a mystery.

I only laughed four times during this, which is four times more than most people I've spoken to about it, so obviously some of the jokes struck a chord with me, but unfortunately just not enough.  With one of the writers being behind such gold as Brass Eye and I'm Alan Partridge, I can only imagine that was his witty humour trying to break free but was silenced by the elephant-jizz jokes that Cohen loves so much.

A nonsensical plot, failed attempts at self-degradation and large gaps of insufficient laughter lead me to not recommend Grimsby.  It's Cohen's worst film and that's saying something...

Rating

2/10

8. Goosebumps

Plot

Young Zach Cooper moves into his new house next door to a cute girl.  He tries to becomes friends but he's constantly thwarted by Hannah's rude father (Jack Black).  Zach discovers her father is actually R. L. Stine, author of the Goosebumps series of kids horror novels.

Zach unwittingly unleashes all of the monsters from Stine's collection of haunted manuscripts, including werewolves, yetis and a talking dummy called Slappy, who isn't a fan of being kept imprisoned much longer.

Verdict

It's a shame to have this film so close to Dirty Grandpa and Grimsby, because it really isn't that bad.  I was pleasantly surprised how much I laughed throughout this fantasy horror.  It's madcap style of slapstick and scares reminded me of Gremlins or even a kids-version of Cabin in the Woods.

Whilst Jack Black won't be winning any Oscars for his performance as Stine, he actually delivers a reserved and reigned-in depiction of the author, explaining his quirkiness through childhood bullying and 'just wanting friends'.  This is when Black works best, able to show off his comic talents without resorting to his Tenacious D-style zaniness.

The chaos and callbacks to the books' memorable monsters definitely make for an entertaining watch, if you were a fan of the books as a child or not.  A simple plot featuring believable and likeable characters is all this film needed and they delivered it with extra comedy on top.  Definite recommend for a Sunday afternoon or when trying to entertain the little ones,

Rating

6/10

7.  Hail, Caesar!

Plot

Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) is the Head of Production at a major Hollywood movie studio.  When the main actor for an upcoming religious epic, Baird Whitlock (George Clooney), is kidnapped by an organisation known only as The Future, it is up to Mannix to pay off the kidnappers as well as handle various on-set problems, such as unwanted pregnancies, scandal-seeking reporters and potentially offensive depictions of the godhead.

All in a day's work in 1950s Hollywood.

Verdict

Now I count myself as a fan of the Coen Brothers; The Big Lebowski, Fargo and No Country For Old Men are definite favourites of the past 20 years.  However, the thing that set them apart from the rest of the crowd was their storylines (as well as their memorable characters).  Botched heists and kidnappings are the bread and butter of the Coen Brothers and Hail, Caesar! is no exception, however the film seems to flagrantly disregard the need for an intricate and complicated through-line, preferring to link together several well-written and and witty sketches around Clooney's big-headed star being held to ransom.

Nothing against the individual scenes that work really well; from Scarlett Johannson's synchronised swimming section, Channing Tatum returning to his dancing routes with an incredible tap-dancing routine, or an elocution lesson from Ralph Fiennes ("Would that it 'twer so simple..."), all the scenes make you smile and laugh but they just didn't feel like I was watching a coherent film.

Every Coen Brothers films is worth watching, as it will still be better than most of the films produced by Hollywood, I just didn't believe this was one of their best.

Rating

6.5/10

6. Trumbo

Plot

Set in the late 1940s, Dalton Trumbo is a successful Hollywood screenwriter, known for writing gritty film noirs and his membership to the Communist Party of the USA.  However Trumbo and his colleagues are blacklisted during America's 'Red Scare' and as the Hollywood Blacklist grows, Trumbo starts working under pseudonyms and different personas to get his work out made, right under the Government's nose.

Verdict

It's so great seeing Bryan Cranston headlining Hollywood dramas, its incredibly deserved and I, for one, am very excited to see him in more films like Trumbo for hopefully years to come.  He owns the titular role as Dalton Trumbo, perfectly portraying his quirks and attributes, making you hate to love him, rather than the other way round.  Regardless, Cranston thoroughly deserved his Oscar nomination.

Whilst the film does adequately capture the suspicion of the time, with Communists being discovered anywhere Joseph McCarthy wanted them to be, it serves as a gentle reminder of the atmosphere currently in America, finding enemies sometimes when there aren't any but those fabricated to keep people worried.

Whilst it is interesting how films such as Spartacus, Roman Holiday and a countless amount of schlocky B-movies were written by blacklisted screenwriters during this era, the film doesn't really provide much more entertainment than that.  Trumbo's struggles do interfere with his family life but he doesn't really deal with that much other than that.  The film just seems overly simplistic at times, never taking any chances, favouring an easy approach instead.  Interesting, but nothing special.

Rating

7/10

5. Spotlight

Plot

Based on true events, the investigative 'Spotlight' team at the Boston Globe newspaper uncover a sordid scandal within the Catholic church as priests accused of molestation are being protected by powerful members of the religious organisation all over the world.

Verdict

The Best Picture winner at this year's Academy Awards is definitely an intense film.  The performances are outstanding, the storyline is gripping and the film does a great job in blowing your mind to how far this cover-up went.

But for a story this epic and ramifications this grand, I expected a film that was on a larger scale.
Obviously the story is shocking enough on it's own merits, and doesn't need any more twists and turns added to the timeline, but I just wanted to be a bit more involved with the film.  Director Tom McCarthy was too relaxed in simply presenting the story straight, whilst it results in or heroes being portrayed as just regular people, the only moments of tension come from a records office closing on time.  But then that tension is over by the following minute when the film cuts to the office opening again.  Panic: over.

Despite that, Keaton, Ruffalo, McAdams, Slattery, Tucci and Crudup all give fantastic performances, worthy of a Best Ensemble Oscar if they had one, however special mention goes to Liev Schreiber, the man who sets the Catholic ball rolling.  It takes a talented actor to make an emotionless man seem so distraught and conflicted.  Bravo, Sabretooth.

Rating

7/10

4. Deadpool

Plot

Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) is just your ordinary mercenary, who falls in love with the beautiful Veronica (Morena Baccarin).  However when he gets diagnosed with four different types of cancer at the same time, his only hope is experimental treatment.
The treatment cures Wade but leaves him invulnerable but hideous.  Afraid to show himself to the world, Wade dons the disguise of Deadpool and tries to get revenge on those that made him the monster he believes himself to be.

Verdict

Let me start by saying: "This film is rated 15, therefore children under 15 years of age should not be allowed to see this film"!  The most intentionally shocking superhero film to date has taken the world by storm and rightfully so.  The film revels in it's adult-orientated humour and definitely stands out from the pack because of it.  Some of the jokes and humour in Deadpool had me crying with laughter and that very rarely happens in such crowded cinema screens.

Ryan Reynolds is born for the role of the Merc With A Mouth, and his references and in-jokes with the Marvel universe he inhabits were a breath of fresh air for a film fan that has been bombarded with superhero films since the early 2000s.  His relationship with Veronica is actually treated like an actual real-life relationship rather than a typical fairytale romance and because of that, I actually sympathised with two characters who are quite abrasive and crude.

Whilst slightly stunted by a disbelieving studio and a restricted budget, the film manages to make the best of it by using a fantastically funny script and great performances from the very talented cast.  Hopefully it will lead to more faith in superhero films that don't fit the standard model, but not in a way that every studio tries to re-capture lightning in a bottle.

Rating

8/10


3. The Big Short

Plot

Set just before the economic collapse of America's extremely unstable housing market, The Big Short focusses on those few people (Christian Bale, Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt etc) who were able to see the bubble that was about to burst and able to capitalise by placing money on it happening.

Verdict

Managing to make sense of the American housing crisis and global economic failure that began in 2007 is a hard ask, but The Big Short manages to make a very decent attempt of it via humour, shock and simple honesty.

I never thought a film with such a complicated plot would be entertaining and funny, but how wrong I was.  The Big Short is witty, earnest and all without falling into condescending the audience and dumbing things down for them.  A fantastic performance from Steve Carrell and an... interesting performance by Christian Bale, as well as hilarious turns by relative newcomers John Magaro and Finn Wittrock make sure that The Big Short is always entertaining and you feel like your interest is in competent hands.

A definite recommendation for any person interested to have the financial crisis understandable, whether it is from Margot Robbie in a bathtub or Christian Bale and his 'one weird eye'.

Rating

8/10

2. The VVitch

Plot

Set in 17th century America, a Puritanical family are thrown out of their small village and have to fend for themselves on the edge of a nearby forest.  Within that forest, dwells a witch who starts to terrorise the family, starting by stealing the family's baby and possessing their son.  As the Witch's attacks begin to increase, the family begin turning on each other and distrust grows.

Verdict

If you are a fan of "cattle-prod cinema", where the majority of the film is "quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, BANG!", The VVitch may not be for you.  However if you, like me, prefer your horror film to be one of creeping terror, gradually getting scarier and scarier throughout the film until the terrifying yet subtle finale, then welcome.

I will never look at a black goat the same after watching this film.  The film is filled with iconic imagery and terrifying visuals, all of which seem mundane and normal in different context, but there is something about how director Robert Eggers has framed the film and depicted the nature of evil, real or imagined.  The dedication to the time period is refreshing as well, having the whole family speak in the 17th century language that would be expected.  This will mean that the film surely is not for everyone, but if you don't mind being immersed in a terrifyingly real, and yet imaginative world, then this is for you.

Rating

8.5/10

1. Kung Fu Panda 3

Plot

Carrying on from Kung Fu Panda and it's sequel, Po needs to defend the Valley of Peace, this time from the Jade Warrior Kai, who has escaped from the Spirit Realm and is determined to capture all of kung fu's greatest warriors and steal their chi energy.  Po must learn how to teach kung fu to his newly reunited panda family in order to stop Kai and bring peace.

Verdict

I'm not lying to you; I have been waiting for this film for years.  I hold the Kung Fu Panda films so highly, I consider them as entertaining, visually-stunning and heartfelt as the Toy Story trilogy.  They champion the ideas of honour, respect and staying true to yourself, all whilst embracing Far Eastern culture and style in a beautiful and seamless way.  I cannot praise them enough.  But I'm going to try.

Having the character of Po mature and grow from being an immature kung fu fan to Dragon Warrior, and now to a teacher that even his master is impressed with just gets me, man.  It might be corny but I laughed all the way through and pretty sure the smile on my face stayed throughout.

Not only a film for kids, but one that will surely entertain the adults as well, I truly hope that these films will get the praise they deserve in future years, being held up alongside Shrek and How To Train Your Dragon as possibly Dreamworks' best animated films.

Rating

9/10

Until next time folks, thanks for reading!

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