Sunday 3 April 2016

Succinct Sunday: February/March Films

So things got away from me a little bit last month.  Personal life got in the way of spending time doing what I love most; informing complete strangers from around the world what I thought about million-dollar budget, Hollywood blockbusters.

I can already feel your sympathy and pity; it is appreciated.

However now I find myself in March with only three films actually reviewed this year, which cannot stand.  And so to combat this ridiculous situation, I have put together ten reviews of films I have seen in the past two months and have not had the time to write a full review.

I have also organised them from worst to best.  This is so I don't finish writing this article in a bad mood, because, boy, just reminding myself about this film is already making me type harder and with more force.  My keyboard can't take it...

10. Dirty Grandpa

Plot

After his grandmother dies, a straight-laced lawyer (Zac Efron) promises to take his grandpa, (Robert freaking de Niro) to Florida for a fishing trip.  But when they arrive, Zac realises that his grandpa wants him to cut loose and forget his fiancee for one last weekend of debauchery.  With his grandpa.  Yuck.

Verdict

F##k.  This.  Film.

I'm tempted just to leave it at that, but I'll persevere.  I've never seen such a sabotage of one's own career than Robert de Niro.  This man was the greatest actor on the planet for two decades.  Now I have seen him rubbing up against a twerking Aubrey Plaza and vigorously masturbating like his life depended on it.  No person needs to see that.  Ever.

It's as if de Niro knocked his head on a something heavy, lost his memory and someone told him "Robert!  You are an actor!  But your career is in tatters!  You need to just do whatever film you can!"

The film is ridiculously bad.  I didn't laugh once and neither did the rest of the audience in the screen.  There was an air of hushed silence, as if collectively mourning the loss of a fallen friend.  And that's what we were doing; showing respect to the man who starred in Goodfellas, Casino, The freaking Godfather!

My hands are shaking with anger, I need to talk about something else...

Rating

1/10 (if I could give this a 0/10, I would) 


9. Grimsby

Plot

Nobby Butcher (Sacha Baron Cohen) hasn't seen his little brother, (Mark Strong), for almost thirty years.  They grew up in Grimsby before he left to become a very successful secret agent for the Government.  However when Nobby finds him and accidentally puts his brother's life in danger, they must go on the run together to try and save the world.

Verdict

Whilst Dirty Grandpa was a surprise of how far de Niro has fallen, it's truly no surprise that SBC is still producing immature, toilet humour such as Grimsby.  What Mark Strong is doing in this though is a mystery.

I only laughed four times during this, which is four times more than most people I've spoken to about it, so obviously some of the jokes struck a chord with me, but unfortunately just not enough.  With one of the writers being behind such gold as Brass Eye and I'm Alan Partridge, I can only imagine that was his witty humour trying to break free but was silenced by the elephant-jizz jokes that Cohen loves so much.

A nonsensical plot, failed attempts at self-degradation and large gaps of insufficient laughter lead me to not recommend Grimsby.  It's Cohen's worst film and that's saying something...

Rating

2/10

8. Goosebumps

Plot

Young Zach Cooper moves into his new house next door to a cute girl.  He tries to becomes friends but he's constantly thwarted by Hannah's rude father (Jack Black).  Zach discovers her father is actually R. L. Stine, author of the Goosebumps series of kids horror novels.

Zach unwittingly unleashes all of the monsters from Stine's collection of haunted manuscripts, including werewolves, yetis and a talking dummy called Slappy, who isn't a fan of being kept imprisoned much longer.

Verdict

It's a shame to have this film so close to Dirty Grandpa and Grimsby, because it really isn't that bad.  I was pleasantly surprised how much I laughed throughout this fantasy horror.  It's madcap style of slapstick and scares reminded me of Gremlins or even a kids-version of Cabin in the Woods.

Whilst Jack Black won't be winning any Oscars for his performance as Stine, he actually delivers a reserved and reigned-in depiction of the author, explaining his quirkiness through childhood bullying and 'just wanting friends'.  This is when Black works best, able to show off his comic talents without resorting to his Tenacious D-style zaniness.

The chaos and callbacks to the books' memorable monsters definitely make for an entertaining watch, if you were a fan of the books as a child or not.  A simple plot featuring believable and likeable characters is all this film needed and they delivered it with extra comedy on top.  Definite recommend for a Sunday afternoon or when trying to entertain the little ones,

Rating

6/10

7.  Hail, Caesar!

Plot

Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) is the Head of Production at a major Hollywood movie studio.  When the main actor for an upcoming religious epic, Baird Whitlock (George Clooney), is kidnapped by an organisation known only as The Future, it is up to Mannix to pay off the kidnappers as well as handle various on-set problems, such as unwanted pregnancies, scandal-seeking reporters and potentially offensive depictions of the godhead.

All in a day's work in 1950s Hollywood.

Verdict

Now I count myself as a fan of the Coen Brothers; The Big Lebowski, Fargo and No Country For Old Men are definite favourites of the past 20 years.  However, the thing that set them apart from the rest of the crowd was their storylines (as well as their memorable characters).  Botched heists and kidnappings are the bread and butter of the Coen Brothers and Hail, Caesar! is no exception, however the film seems to flagrantly disregard the need for an intricate and complicated through-line, preferring to link together several well-written and and witty sketches around Clooney's big-headed star being held to ransom.

Nothing against the individual scenes that work really well; from Scarlett Johannson's synchronised swimming section, Channing Tatum returning to his dancing routes with an incredible tap-dancing routine, or an elocution lesson from Ralph Fiennes ("Would that it 'twer so simple..."), all the scenes make you smile and laugh but they just didn't feel like I was watching a coherent film.

Every Coen Brothers films is worth watching, as it will still be better than most of the films produced by Hollywood, I just didn't believe this was one of their best.

Rating

6.5/10

6. Trumbo

Plot

Set in the late 1940s, Dalton Trumbo is a successful Hollywood screenwriter, known for writing gritty film noirs and his membership to the Communist Party of the USA.  However Trumbo and his colleagues are blacklisted during America's 'Red Scare' and as the Hollywood Blacklist grows, Trumbo starts working under pseudonyms and different personas to get his work out made, right under the Government's nose.

Verdict

It's so great seeing Bryan Cranston headlining Hollywood dramas, its incredibly deserved and I, for one, am very excited to see him in more films like Trumbo for hopefully years to come.  He owns the titular role as Dalton Trumbo, perfectly portraying his quirks and attributes, making you hate to love him, rather than the other way round.  Regardless, Cranston thoroughly deserved his Oscar nomination.

Whilst the film does adequately capture the suspicion of the time, with Communists being discovered anywhere Joseph McCarthy wanted them to be, it serves as a gentle reminder of the atmosphere currently in America, finding enemies sometimes when there aren't any but those fabricated to keep people worried.

Whilst it is interesting how films such as Spartacus, Roman Holiday and a countless amount of schlocky B-movies were written by blacklisted screenwriters during this era, the film doesn't really provide much more entertainment than that.  Trumbo's struggles do interfere with his family life but he doesn't really deal with that much other than that.  The film just seems overly simplistic at times, never taking any chances, favouring an easy approach instead.  Interesting, but nothing special.

Rating

7/10

5. Spotlight

Plot

Based on true events, the investigative 'Spotlight' team at the Boston Globe newspaper uncover a sordid scandal within the Catholic church as priests accused of molestation are being protected by powerful members of the religious organisation all over the world.

Verdict

The Best Picture winner at this year's Academy Awards is definitely an intense film.  The performances are outstanding, the storyline is gripping and the film does a great job in blowing your mind to how far this cover-up went.

But for a story this epic and ramifications this grand, I expected a film that was on a larger scale.
Obviously the story is shocking enough on it's own merits, and doesn't need any more twists and turns added to the timeline, but I just wanted to be a bit more involved with the film.  Director Tom McCarthy was too relaxed in simply presenting the story straight, whilst it results in or heroes being portrayed as just regular people, the only moments of tension come from a records office closing on time.  But then that tension is over by the following minute when the film cuts to the office opening again.  Panic: over.

Despite that, Keaton, Ruffalo, McAdams, Slattery, Tucci and Crudup all give fantastic performances, worthy of a Best Ensemble Oscar if they had one, however special mention goes to Liev Schreiber, the man who sets the Catholic ball rolling.  It takes a talented actor to make an emotionless man seem so distraught and conflicted.  Bravo, Sabretooth.

Rating

7/10

4. Deadpool

Plot

Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) is just your ordinary mercenary, who falls in love with the beautiful Veronica (Morena Baccarin).  However when he gets diagnosed with four different types of cancer at the same time, his only hope is experimental treatment.
The treatment cures Wade but leaves him invulnerable but hideous.  Afraid to show himself to the world, Wade dons the disguise of Deadpool and tries to get revenge on those that made him the monster he believes himself to be.

Verdict

Let me start by saying: "This film is rated 15, therefore children under 15 years of age should not be allowed to see this film"!  The most intentionally shocking superhero film to date has taken the world by storm and rightfully so.  The film revels in it's adult-orientated humour and definitely stands out from the pack because of it.  Some of the jokes and humour in Deadpool had me crying with laughter and that very rarely happens in such crowded cinema screens.

Ryan Reynolds is born for the role of the Merc With A Mouth, and his references and in-jokes with the Marvel universe he inhabits were a breath of fresh air for a film fan that has been bombarded with superhero films since the early 2000s.  His relationship with Veronica is actually treated like an actual real-life relationship rather than a typical fairytale romance and because of that, I actually sympathised with two characters who are quite abrasive and crude.

Whilst slightly stunted by a disbelieving studio and a restricted budget, the film manages to make the best of it by using a fantastically funny script and great performances from the very talented cast.  Hopefully it will lead to more faith in superhero films that don't fit the standard model, but not in a way that every studio tries to re-capture lightning in a bottle.

Rating

8/10


3. The Big Short

Plot

Set just before the economic collapse of America's extremely unstable housing market, The Big Short focusses on those few people (Christian Bale, Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt etc) who were able to see the bubble that was about to burst and able to capitalise by placing money on it happening.

Verdict

Managing to make sense of the American housing crisis and global economic failure that began in 2007 is a hard ask, but The Big Short manages to make a very decent attempt of it via humour, shock and simple honesty.

I never thought a film with such a complicated plot would be entertaining and funny, but how wrong I was.  The Big Short is witty, earnest and all without falling into condescending the audience and dumbing things down for them.  A fantastic performance from Steve Carrell and an... interesting performance by Christian Bale, as well as hilarious turns by relative newcomers John Magaro and Finn Wittrock make sure that The Big Short is always entertaining and you feel like your interest is in competent hands.

A definite recommendation for any person interested to have the financial crisis understandable, whether it is from Margot Robbie in a bathtub or Christian Bale and his 'one weird eye'.

Rating

8/10

2. The VVitch

Plot

Set in 17th century America, a Puritanical family are thrown out of their small village and have to fend for themselves on the edge of a nearby forest.  Within that forest, dwells a witch who starts to terrorise the family, starting by stealing the family's baby and possessing their son.  As the Witch's attacks begin to increase, the family begin turning on each other and distrust grows.

Verdict

If you are a fan of "cattle-prod cinema", where the majority of the film is "quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, BANG!", The VVitch may not be for you.  However if you, like me, prefer your horror film to be one of creeping terror, gradually getting scarier and scarier throughout the film until the terrifying yet subtle finale, then welcome.

I will never look at a black goat the same after watching this film.  The film is filled with iconic imagery and terrifying visuals, all of which seem mundane and normal in different context, but there is something about how director Robert Eggers has framed the film and depicted the nature of evil, real or imagined.  The dedication to the time period is refreshing as well, having the whole family speak in the 17th century language that would be expected.  This will mean that the film surely is not for everyone, but if you don't mind being immersed in a terrifyingly real, and yet imaginative world, then this is for you.

Rating

8.5/10

1. Kung Fu Panda 3

Plot

Carrying on from Kung Fu Panda and it's sequel, Po needs to defend the Valley of Peace, this time from the Jade Warrior Kai, who has escaped from the Spirit Realm and is determined to capture all of kung fu's greatest warriors and steal their chi energy.  Po must learn how to teach kung fu to his newly reunited panda family in order to stop Kai and bring peace.

Verdict

I'm not lying to you; I have been waiting for this film for years.  I hold the Kung Fu Panda films so highly, I consider them as entertaining, visually-stunning and heartfelt as the Toy Story trilogy.  They champion the ideas of honour, respect and staying true to yourself, all whilst embracing Far Eastern culture and style in a beautiful and seamless way.  I cannot praise them enough.  But I'm going to try.

Having the character of Po mature and grow from being an immature kung fu fan to Dragon Warrior, and now to a teacher that even his master is impressed with just gets me, man.  It might be corny but I laughed all the way through and pretty sure the smile on my face stayed throughout.

Not only a film for kids, but one that will surely entertain the adults as well, I truly hope that these films will get the praise they deserve in future years, being held up alongside Shrek and How To Train Your Dragon as possibly Dreamworks' best animated films.

Rating

9/10


Until next time folks, thanks for reading!

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