Succinct Sunday - A Whole Lot Of Whispers

So since I've been travelling the Asian continent, the hotels that I have been staying in usually have one thing in common: loud-ass hipster douches movie channels!  Regardless of the country that I am staying in, the hotels always seem to carry HBO Movies or Fox Movies and if I don't feel like experiencing the local night-life, I know that there is always a TV channel ready to broadcast films, both good and bad.  Since I travelled over here in February, I have seen a hell of a lot of new films, so I thought that I'd share my thoughts about them.  Don't worry, it's Succinct Sunday, so they won't take long...

THE VOW

Let's start with this charming little romance film, based on a true story. Rachel McAdams loses the last five years of her memory in a car crash, resulting in forgetting her life with her husband Channing Tatum.  Whilst McAdams has always impressed me in her recent roles, I am slowly becoming a fan of Tatum.  He doesn't take himself too seriously in his performances and he is on the up and up.  Back to the film, the emotions do get to you, the performances are impressive and the story-line is genuinely intriguing, especially since it happened to a real life couple.  Highly recommended.

EPIC

Let me paint a picture... Imagine there are magical tiny people in the forest that often defend nature from an approaching destructive force.  Yep, FernGully: The Last Rainforest... I mean, Epic never really captures the imagination in the same vein as the original Ice Age, instead choosing the disappointing path to follow in the footsteps of the other Blue Sky Animations, Rio, Robots and Horton Hears A Who.  Often boring, too childish to be taken seriously and never truly engaging, Epic truly fails to live up to it's name.  On a side note, who the hell thought that Colin Farrell's miscast voice fitted his character design?!  Ridiculous.

INSIDE MAN
Spike Lee directs Denzel Washington in a cop-crime thriller as he tries to solve Clive Owen's supposed 'perfect robbery'.  Whilst it is nice to see Chiwetel Ejiofor in another Hollywood film, I feel like this film's hype preceded it and I never really got caught up in the action.  I just always could tell I was watching a film, from Clive Owen's fourth-wall breaking opening monologue, noticing the pointlessness of Jodie Foster's character, and not mentioning the rapid changes in timeframe.  Despite the always impressive Christopher Plummer and the personal favourite Clive Owen, I never lost myself in the world and I feel like it suffered because of that. I can see why some people enjoy Inside Man, I was just not one of them.

THE CROODS

Good Lord, this is nearly shown daily so I can pretty much quote it to you verbatim. A unique premise, The Croods tells the story of a family of cavemen who must venture out from their cave-dwelling lives to escape clashing continents, where they meet the creative inventor Guy, voiced by Ryan Reynolds.  Funny throughout with a recognisable family dynamic at the heart, The Croods displays an interesting father-daughter core, fleshed out with humorous set-pieces and references for both kids and adults.  However, the locations are sometimes jarring, the characters are sometimes unlikeable and the main threat of the local carnivores are just confusing. I feel like if they just stuck to normality, it would have been improved but that's a tiny flaw.

SPIDER-MAN 3

I hadn't watched this since I paid for a cinema ticket back in 2007.  Now I remember why.  So much fantastic action and character development went into the first two Spider-Man films, all for it to go to waste in the concluding instalment.  The Sandman really killed Uncle Ben?!  James Franco gets amnesia?!  Peter Parker gets an emo fringe?!  MAKE IT STOP!  Those of you who have seen it will probably remember two scenes in particular: Parker strutting down the street (to music, presumably in his head), thinking he's the shit with his emo fringe; and then him dancing in a nightclub, right before he hits Mary Jane in the face.  Some of the worst scenes ever included in a super-hero film. Those of you who haven't seen this film, I've just given you two good reasons not to watch this film.  Too many villains, too many pointless action sequences, too many scenes with goddamn emo Peter Parker.

PSYCHO (1998 REMAKE)
I had only heard rumours of a shot-by-shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock's classic, but now I have seen the travesty. Absolutely pointless.  Vince Vaughn has never been more miscast, and that's saying something. Just stick with the original.  Please.

JUST GO WITH IT
To sleep with a pretty lady, Adam Sandler pretends he's married and getting divorced from Jennifer Aniston.  No this isn't one of Awesome-O 3000's movie ideas (hee hee, South Park reference) but the real plot of his rom-com from 2011. Whilst the film does have the occasional funny moment, usually due to Jennifer Aniston, there are far too few for another Adam Sandler 'comedy'.  What happened to the guy who was so fantastic in Punch-Drunk Love and The Wedding Singer?  Not the Jack & Jill / Grown Ups version we are getting today.  Remember who you were, Adam.


2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK
Yes, I'm reviewing this tripe.  From the same vein of Sharknado (the tornado made of sharks), comes this floundering turd of a film. So yeah, teens on a boat (including Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke) captained by Carmen Electra (yeah, she still exists) get targeted by a really bad piece of CGI.  The result?  The Sy-Fy Channel loses another viewer.

JACK REACHER
Tom Cruise plays an ex-Army police officer, tasked with investigating the actions of a supposed mass-murderer.  In a change of pace, Reacher is a semi-vigilante cop that doesn't play by the rules...

*cough* Jack Bauer *cough*,
*cough* John McClane *cough*,
*cough* McBain *cough*

Plus in the books he's apparently around 7ft tall. Ideal casting for Cruise then... Despite the inspired casting of Werner Herzog and his magnificent voice as the overall villain, the film just criminally lacks originality or suspense.  Also, Hollywood?  Please stop casting Jai Courtenay in films.  He's just another Sam Worthington or Kellan Lutz. Stop bringing these talent-vacuums to the centre stage.  Sincerely, Movie-Lovers Worldwide.

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES

I remember liking this film.  Upon re-watching it... I cannot remember why.  An insult to the originals.

And that's enough for now.  I'll probably post another next Sunday, but until then, thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed what you read and you'd like to be kept more up to date with my posts, I can be found on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mike-Dunn-Reviews and on Twitter at https://twitter.com/MikeDunnReviews - if you want to help the site grow, give them a 'Like' or a 'Share'!